Living

Andy has been gone for over 4 months and we all miss him terribly. It's just not the same without him here.There is a huge, gaping hole left in our family right now and there isn't anything we can do about it.

I have decided that we have to keep living our lives though. Not the same as before, but I still want each day to be meaningful and happy. It seems like we (and so many people with deployed family members) spend so much time missing our loved ones and wishing the days away until they are back instead of being thankful for this time.

Please don't misinterpret my words. I 'm not saying that I'm glad that he's gone (of course I'm not!) or that I'm not counting down the days until he gets back (I am).

I just don't want to wish this year away, because it's a year of my life. The kids are growing and learning. We have precious, special time to spend together (although it doesn't always feel so precious!). Each day is a gift and I wouldn't want this year to go by in a blur - with no memories. A year not lived.

I suppose what we have gone through the past few months has been akin to grief. Grieving for the loss of a year with him. For the loss of family time. But I think we are slowly getting past it.

So during the next 8 months of this deployment, we will be waiting and missing him, but we will be living...